I always wanted kids growing up. In fact up until about 4 years ago I was convinced I was going to have kids. And one of the things I was always nervous about helping them with bullies. Well I got my own ongoing lesson with Bullies myself.
You know at first they don’t seem like bullies…at first you just feel like you messed up… that if you just try a little harder, things will be ok. I started spending all of my time in just my room distancing myself. I slowly started feeling like nothing I could do was right.
And now looking back I realize that so much of it has to do with my Self Esteem. The hardest part of standing up to my roommates was that I didn’t want them to think poorly of me or talk poorly of me to others. I had to get used to the fact that people, who I didn’t hold in high regard would think poorly of me. Once I stated it in facts I realized that it is not important for every person in the world to think highly of me. Some times even when we do things right we are looked down upon.
There are many times when what is good for us is not good for other people. Like the fact that I didn’t like the way my roommates were treating me and so I wanted to leave and they felt like they couldn’t only continue living in their current place with me. I am so glad to be out of there!!
So today I moved…. yes I know I haven’t even lived there for 2 and a half months but ….. all of my stuff was still at my old place. I was living a life of ease and enjoying not having to deal with the mistake of signing a lease last October.
So I have a lawyer (ok so it is my friend that I live with but she is a lawyer and has represented me before). And my the girls I was living with before have gone and pissed her off!! Which is good for me 🙂 I was truly just going to live and pay 2 rents …. that wasn’t good enough for my lawyer (I just love saying that!!!) So I figured I would let her run with it. So she has written a beautiful letter… but part of the letter says that they are getting 100% of the benefit of the lease. Well in order for that to be true I had to move out. I was not looking forward to the discussions it would bring with the exs… But I was trusting in God and knowing that I would be ok with whatever the outcome would be. However I still had to do it. It took me like 2 hrs just to write one little line… Hey I am posting an ad on Craigslist and will be bringing subletters by the house. Well that got a resounding… NO WAY from the old roomies… which basically was what we needed. I then received 3 text messages from my old roomies… the last pleading to respond so that they knew that I was alive. I knew what they really wanted was to argue with me.
That is their fun,… they love to argue every little point… they act like as long as the two of them have agreed on something then it must be true. And they just wear you down. I didn’t want to argue with them so I didn’t answer any of it.
Yesterday I showed up at the house. I didn’t want to talk to my old roommate and so I waited for her to leave. They at the time didn’t know what kind of car I had so that was good. I went into my room and spent the next 6 hrs packing. I was actually surprised it only took 6!! As I was packing I overheard them telling lies to our neighbor, and it made me realize how glad I was too be leaving. I left at 10:30 at night and got chased out by barking dogs… so will not miss that!!
I got there this morning and walk into the house with 2 crazy barking dogs and 2 movers. My roommate was livid as she woke up to strangers in the house. I took them downstairs and showed them what had to go. She asked to speak with me and asked me what was going on. I said….. wait for it….. I’m moving. lol. it seemed obvious to me. She asked if I still planned on paying rent I said “that is up to my lawyer” she said “don’t bring subletters by” I said that is up to my lawyer. She then brought the crazy dogs back down stairs, which I didn’t think was smart as we had the door wide open; but the only reasoning I could come up with was to bug us. I stayed outside so that I could never get in trouble for saying anything or doing anything. The dogs stayed (barking of course) at the door. I have to say one of my highlights was when a stranger walked passed and the dogs came running outside and took off. LOL in my head I was thinking …… DUH!! whatever was she thinking?!?!?!
Then the guilt trips started coming…. and she was trying to be all sticky sweet…. I am going to go check and see if you have anything in the mailbox (I filed a change of address form 3 mos ago!!). “My mom is coming over I am telling you because we promised to tell when people came over” I just stayed out of the way and kind of just looked anywhere but at her. She just kept talking to me. There was also one point where she asked why I didn’t return any of her texts and I told her that I felt like she was just going to argue with me…. what they are famous for. Then again and again she was like didn’t I deserve answer??? Probably my proudest moment when I told her time and time again that no I didn’t feel like she needed an answer to her multiple texts that had no point. Then I walked out of the house. Such a great feeling I didn’t bow to her guilt that she tried to dish out to me. I stood up to the bully!! So amazing!! As I was driving away I felt great, I felt strong. I love knowing that I have someone fighting for me (my lawyer); that I have people confirming that I am not crazy for standing up to them.
I have a feeling that this is actually just a beginning step and there might have a lot to come OR I will stop paying rent and nothing will happen. We shall see….
I love my new little car and it is so great to not be concerned about the next time my car is going to break down or when i have to take care of anything…I actually thought I was going to go for a used car. I tried (and got turned down) for about 4 used cars!!! I would have been happy with any one of them but alas I had to settle for a brand new 2013 Kia Forte. It is a middle of the line model (EX) which means power locks, windows… and sport-matic!! Which means I can shift if I want. 🙂 which is a good compromise as I wanted a manual. So now I can cross off “Buy a new car” from my bucket list!