You know that one thing that makes your Christmas… Christmas?? For me it is stockings, and Christmas light watching. I am going to have to pass on the stocking this year but Christmas light watching… happening tonight. I am actually excited even though I am doing it alone. One of the best things about Christmas light watching for this tubby girl… it is in a car and no walking!! So exciting
The poppisan…. I have always loved the thought of a poppisan, can’t you just see….. curl up those legs and tilt your head to the side and so great! Until it is the only chair in the house… it is hard to watch TV when all you can do is lay back. Oh and fat girls’ like me can’t really curl up their legs… Yeah the poppisan must die!!!
I woke up yesterday paralyzed. I cried (you know that heartbreaking out loud/ screaming crying) yea that kind. In pain, tried (after 14 hrs of sleep), and frustrated. I couldn’t stop it lasted 5 hrs. I finally broke down and called mom settled me down some but I still felt alone. I have been reading book after book; blog after blog, trying to know how to get better how to seek God better. Where do you find this joy this full life that the scriptures talk about. HOW??? I am looking for Joy. I have tons of people praying for me and loads of people know my fear, my pain I have shared I have reached out but I am still seeking out Joy. in the midst of fear (how do I buy food? How do I buy medicine?) in the midst of pain (I can’t do anything but lie down) Christmas is coming and I have nothing to offer, no presents no food nothing…
Can’t you just hear Tom Cruise belting that out???? I need to lose major weight this year in order to get my hip replacement done. The doctor took one look at me told me what weight I had to be at and told me to come back in the spring. No steps to help now or anything. This was such a change from the majority of doctors I have seen this year (yes plural there were many) everyone has been so encouraging but this surgeon was straight to the point and left no room for questions. So now I am under pressure, I am in lots of pain a majority of the day and I am being told no weight bearing exercise but lose 70 lbs!
The first couple of days I went through every emotion and it came down to the fact that I just didn’t want to do it (enter childish tantrum here) but I don’t really have a choice. Either live in constant pain or lose the weight.
Now I have been working at losing weight this whole year and I am down 20 lbs from where I started but it isn’t good enough I need to do more. I decided to bring in a visual aid! It is in my kitchen (the baine of my existance) and so now I cry out (in my head) show me the weight loss here is what it looks like…
We have a here and gone jar and I look forward to when there is more in gone than in here…here we go!!!