One Year to the Date…

So a year ago was the worst day of my life. I had circumstances that were not ideal but that wasn’t the what put me over the edge. I knew things would get better I just didn’t want to wait for that time. So I made a plan… I was going to stop at a liquor store go home and down a bottle of pills with a bottle of booze. Thankfully I pulled over on the side of the road instead and called my counselor. She convinced me to drive to my friends house and we decided that I would go into the hospital. Now here I am a year later and I can’t say that I have always been happy to get through this but things are better now. I am so very thankful for the people that have gotten me through the last year, because I know that it takes a community.

Advertisements

Just waiting

image

I am in a waiting state now. The big rush is over I am in a time where life just is. Nothing new to report . I feel like I have already hit my place of life where this has become the normal way to eat and live. I now know when to get to the gym and how much to eat. It is a surreal place. I am not anywhere near my goal weight but I am down almost 40 pounds. It doesn’t seem real. I am two pant sizes down and look a whole lot better but I am still big and still have a ways to go. I know I just have to keep up to good fight and keep going even though I am ready to be at a point where I say I am done and can stop this diet. But it’s not a diet and this is going on for the rest of my life. Much harder than I envisioned. So I take each day just as a day and don’t think about the rest of my life just the next meal which is in a few hours and going to be very small!!

Just waiting

image

I am in a waiting state now. The big rush is over I am in a time where life just is. Nothing new to report . I feel like I have already hit my place of life where this has become the normal way to eat and live. I now know when to get to the gym and how much to eat. It is a surreal place. I am not anywhere near my goal weight but I am down almost 40 pounds. It doesn’t seem real. I am two pant sizes down and look a whole lot better but I am still big and still have a ways to go. I know I just have to keep up to good fight and keep going even though I am ready to be at a point where I say I am done and can stop this diet. But it’s not a diet and this is going on for the rest of my life. Much harder than I envisioned. So I take each day just as a day and don’t think about the rest of my life just the next meal which is in a few hours and going to be very small!!

34 down

I don’t know what it is but 30 was a milestone for me. I think the thought of all that I have to lose is too much and so it has to be broken up into small (bite size if you will) pieces; and 30 was the first bite.

Next goal….45 and I want to hit it before the month is out. which means… I need to keep to the better foods (PROTEIN first) eating the smaller portions are easy I just can’t fit the food I used to 🙂 but it is real easy to have something “good” but not “good for me”.  I think this is where I am getting into trouble. Now don’t get me wrong I am still losing 3 pounds a week and that is pretty good. I do think I could do better and am hoping for it!

Work it out

image

So they want you workingout as much as possible. My gym is only open Monday thru Friday so I try to make it every day. My choice recumbent bike (the kind you look like you are sitting in a chair) such a great choice! I can even read a book while I bike. I have also started pulling in weights this week. The dedication I need blows me away. It is hard getting out there so much but I need to remember it will be worth it and maybe someday I will love it!

Limitless

I now can eat whatever I want. The rules are to get a certain amount of protein and water. This is actually the hardest part. I am no longer being told what to eat and I have to do it for the rest of my life. I am down 31 pounds total and bumbling my way through what to eat. Food costs stayed the same because I am eating less but more expensive food. My crockpot has come in very handy and it provides enough food for two weeks I just have to eat the same thing every day! But it is a good starting point. This is a learning curve that has been a challenge more than not but will be worth it. That is what I remind myself I have a purpose for this. I also have been making it to the gym 5 days a week and started adding weights yesterday beginning slow at one day a week one rep of everything! It’s a baby step but a step all the same.

What Would You Eat???

I am coming up on my 6 weeks since surgery (Monday is the day) and the food restrictions come off!!! What would you eat? I am planning out my food for next week and I am getting excited. Top of the list is steak! I am thinking Chipolte steak taco (probably just one 😉 If I had all the money in the world it would be Texas Roadhouse! Ummmmmm Steak good stuff…

Also… Ice cream sundaes ummmmm ice cream

I am nervous about trying to figure out what to eat now. They have been great at telling me every step of the way so I am hoping that they give good advice and ideas. Also considering going to  a support group for Sleevers to explore this new and wonderous world and so it begins….

Stalled Out

So they told me between weeks 3 – 6 my weight loss would stall… and here it is… It blows chunks!!! I think this is the part where people start to think “why the h-e-double hockey sticks did I do this???” I am eating nothing but protein and at that only 4 oz and I am losing NOTHING it’s not fair!!!!! (That was my two year old whiny voice right there!)

food is about the same

– chili

– chicken salad (with avocado because who just wants canned chicken and mayo??)

– pudding (because I can)

– black beans and ground beef (with a little cheese melted on it)

– Refried beans

– greek yogurt

-egg whites

 

Glad I don’t really get bored of food…. ok I get a little bored but what’s a girl to do, I don’t want to work at it 😉

I am drinking lots of water and working out (shooting for 5 times a week!)

Moving Forward

I am up to soft foods. I get to eat canned chicken, refried beans, string cheese, ground beef, avocado, and black beans to name a few. This is a really exciting time and I feel like I am accomplishing a lot. I am learning a lot as well. I am working hard on making protein first. Right now it is soft proteins. I am spending more time focused on eating than I ever have in my life. I think it is going to be a big part of my life for awhile until I get this figured out.

Food right now

– black beans, ground beef, avocado and cheese

– greek yogurt

-chili

-beef jerky nuggets

-string cheese

to name a few.

I have also worked hard on getting to the gym 5 days a week for at least 30 mins

 

 

 

Week 1

DSC02317I opted to stay with my grandmother for the first week after surgery. It  was a nice oasis and great to get away. I read 3 books and drank all my meals. It was a bit brutal when grandma would ask if I could eat different things, and I had to keep telling her NO. But I made it through the first week with just eating protein shakes and resting. My reward was I lost 12 pounds…

DSC02331

These two photos are one week apart and I am so excited!! I went in for my one week appointment and they said I am healing well and things are going well. For the next two weeks I get to eat some foods…

– Refried Beans

– Greek Yogurt

– Egg Whites

– Sugar Free Pudding

– Cottage Cheese (which I don’t like)

But such sweet succulent  meals I feel like they are amazing!!