I hit fifty pounds down today. It has been a long road. This isn’t about just eating less, it is about eating right. Protein first!! A chunk of every week is spent prepping and working through what I am going to eat and how I am going to get protein into every meal. I now have a pattern and sometimes I get bored with the meals. But I am learning that routine is important. I eat the same thing day after day and I make sure to keep going to the gym every day. Routine is the heart of change. I am keeping to my new routine and it seems to be working so on to the next day
So they want you workingout as much as possible. My gym is only open Monday thru Friday so I try to make it every day. My choice recumbent bike (the kind you look like you are sitting in a chair) such a great choice! I can even read a book while I bike. I have also started pulling in weights this week. The dedication I need blows me away. It is hard getting out there so much but I need to remember it will be worth it and maybe someday I will love it!
So they told me between weeks 3 – 6 my weight loss would stall… and here it is… It blows chunks!!! I think this is the part where people start to think “why the h-e-double hockey sticks did I do this???” I am eating nothing but protein and at that only 4 oz and I am losing NOTHING it’s not fair!!!!! (That was my two year old whiny voice right there!)
food is about the same
– chicken salad (with avocado because who just wants canned chicken and mayo??)
– pudding (because I can)
– black beans and ground beef (with a little cheese melted on it)
– Refried beans
– greek yogurt
Glad I don’t really get bored of food…. ok I get a little bored but what’s a girl to do, I don’t want to work at it 😉
I am drinking lots of water and working out (shooting for 5 times a week!)
Ok so maybe my black belt isn’t so cool .. But it does something that no other will… Hold my hip together. It’s weird but it’s true!! It pulls my hip back towards the pelvic bone but only if it is in exactly the right spot. And yes I can tell when it isn’t…I am tired of pain. But I do have to admit that my black belt is better than your black belt!!!
I started a goal board I decided it helps for me to see where I am going…ny main goal is at the bottom…. Become a bad ass…the upper right corner is my priority list the bottom right…I how many day since my last hospital stay… I am going to do this the thing that makes me so sure that after years of trying (about 13) I am going to make it this time. Support!!! I have someone every day checking on me..ya know spread out the love!!
So I know most people mean actual bread but for me these days … I mean medications. And I know it is crazy but I have decided to do whatever it takes to get through this. And honestly I am a bit scared. What if this never ends? What if I never lose the weight?
I am 30 weeks into the process and still pretty fat.
I do want to scream at every person that isn’t hugely over weight… Get on the ball NOW!!! I am so jealous of people that can move with out pain pills. I know I just have to keep going. You know when you are growing up people tell you to strive for your dreams… Well, my dream is to be able to walk a mile without pain, and to one year NOT topping out my flexible spending for medical insurance! Although reaching the maximum out of pocket is kind of exciting… 100% medical paid… bring it on!!
Don’t mind me I am taking another step forward.
So apparently the muscle has a sheath covering it. The stretches get the muscle, the foam roller …. the sheath. So when the sheath is tight and the roller uses the body weight (of which I have plenty) to release the tension. And it HURTS like you wouldn’t believe. But hopefully it will make it work better!!
You know when I see someone that is “larger than normal” I usually think (to myself) I hope I never let myself get that big…. well here I stand at 300 lbs. I think the thing that works against me is i don’t “look” like I weigh that much. No one would guess my weight (I am seriously considering going to one of those places where they try to guess weight and age – cause I don’t look 37 either). But there it is the stark truth… I am fat!!! (and not in that I’m a skinny girl but think I am fat way….)
It starts with a decision to change. Some say this is the hardest step, but I have decided this so many times and unfortunately it usually ends with me in agony… sleeping a big chunk of the day. So I have started (again) this time with a little more support than normal and a determination to make it (VERY slowly). My goal… lose 70 lbs in 2 years. I wanted something attainable and not to make myself feel like a failure (which is usually what happens).
So then I started thinking…. how can I lose weight???? Oh and with no money cause I have no money… so videos that’s cheap! But you know what … they don’t have work out videos for “fat” girls. They have the token chunky girl and I suppose it is to inspire us to lose weight but show me a fat girl that can’t get anywhere near the movement and then maybe I will be able to work on it.
I also have trouble with the eating part of it!! My absolutely wonderful sister suggested I go vegan… yeah right?!?!?!?! I couldn’t possibly go with out steak. But I have worked on cutting out fast food (this is huge!!) and I now count calories…. MyFitnessPal is freaking amazing! So I am doing baby steps… to prove that I can… and to get over all the times I have seen those very frustrating quotes about how I can do things but just don’t … it’s a LIE (at least for me)
But my best friend through all of this is my pain meds… otherwise I wouldn’t be this far…. and so the battle continues… one day, one step at a time…
So I need to gather a brief medical history to give to my personal trainer (I have one lol) he also wants a summary from my chiropractor.. which I will get next time I am in.
I have always had physical issues it starts with a weak foundation I believe. … I have flat feet. So I twisted my ankles all growing up (once resulting in a broken toe), I have exercise-induced asthma (diagnosed at 18) and a tendency for anemia.
When I was 18 I rode a bike for 500 miles (over 5 days) and after a month of horrible knee pain (right knee) I finally went to the Dr. she diagnosed Osgood-Schlatter disease basically said my knee was still growing and told me to take 4 advil when it started hurting. After a couple years (and getting up to 6 advil at a time – I was young and foolish) I went back to the dr (different one) and they said it was tendinitis. With the same treatment plan (still have issues… I use alieve now instead of advil).
I went to a chiropractor some time latter and he took a full body scan. The results are as follows…. I have one hip higher than the other, 3 spots in my back that were “off”, and my neck curved the wrong way (forward instead of back).
In the fall of 1999 I “pulled” all of the muscles in my right shoulder and went to PT for a few months. It still gives me issues most of the time. The next year I dropped off a rope and twisted my right ankle as I came down, and more PT. In spring of 2002 I decided to get in shape and walked a mile every day with almost no side effects, this was probably the last time I was consciously “in shape”. I worked for camp for many years after that and had a physically active lifestyle.
In Sept 2005, I woke up one day with the worst headache I have ever had. I went to many doctors and tried many medications. Some relief was found through constant chiropractor work (he asked me when I was in a car accident – I asked if the one when I was like 5 counted and he thought I had been in one recently), and massage therapy I had some relief. My axis and atlas joints in my neck were twisted and tilted (those are the top two joints). After a year of pain and the many doctors finding no cause for it, they opted for steroid shots in 6 joints in my upper neck.
Since then (2006) all attempts at getting “in shape” have ended in complete pain mostly in my neck and usually months of agony. This is a very frustrating process.