Tag Archives: Organizing

Fat Girl Diary (FGD)….. It all Starts Here

You know when I see someone that is “larger than normal” I usually think (to myself) I hope I never  let myself get that big…. well here I stand at 300 lbs. I think the thing that works against me is i don’t “look” like I weigh that much. No one would guess my weight (I am seriously considering going to one of those places where they try to guess weight and age – cause I don’t look 37 either). But there it is the stark truth… I am fat!!! (and not in that I’m a skinny girl but think I am fat way….)

It starts with a decision to change. Some say this is the hardest step, but I have decided this so many times and unfortunately it usually ends with me in agony… sleeping a big chunk of the day. So I have started (again) this time with a little more support than normal and a determination to make it (VERY slowly). My goal… lose 70 lbs in 2 years. I wanted something attainable and not to make myself feel like a failure (which is usually what happens).

So then I started thinking…. how can I lose weight???? Oh and with no money cause I have no money… so videos that’s cheap! But you know what … they don’t have work out videos for “fat” girls.  They have the token chunky  girl and I suppose it is to inspire  us to lose weight but show me a fat girl that can’t get anywhere near the movement and then maybe I will be able to work on it.

I also have trouble with the eating part of it!! My absolutely wonderful sister suggested I go vegan… yeah right?!?!?!?! I couldn’t possibly go with out steak. But I have worked on cutting out fast food (this is huge!!) and I now count calories…. MyFitnessPal is freaking amazing! So I am doing baby steps… to prove that I can… and to get over all the times I have seen those very frustrating quotes about how I can do things but just don’t … it’s a LIE (at least for me)

But my best friend through all of this is my pain meds… otherwise I wouldn’t be this far…. and so the battle continues… one day, one step at a time…

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How Does It Work???

Ok so I have a week to get organized. I will be without a car. So I have to figure out what i am going to do!! I mean… I will probably only be able to shop about once a week. Sooooo a weeks worth of food. I think that is the biggest thing.  I am quite nervous. I am going to even be working from home. I am SO lucky to be able to do that since I don’t currently have a car but I have NEVER had to do that before. This is going to be an interesting adventure!!

It’s kind of funny because I have been planning on becoming a better cook and eating from home more often. It is funny how wanting to do those things works into all of the sudden I HAVE to do them… I guess the best way to learn is to jump in with two feet!!